Category Archives: Dating

I moved y’all!

Check out my hunky movers. They hauled me over to http://www.rachelmachacek.com

RACHELMACHACEK.COM

Just like that. In the middle of the night. Come on over to my new online existence. Different address, same ‘hood, same fun.

Don’t worry, I migrated all the posts, advice and comments from here to the new site with the apt address of www.rachelmachacek.com. You can also email me at rachel@rachelmachacek.com. Don’t forget to re-subscribe though, because I couldn’t take that with me. Some sort of privacy law or something.

(Seeing my name so many times in a row might make you wonder how to pronounce it. Phonetically, it’s mah-HA-check. Like a sneeze.)

There’s fresh baked pie for my first visitors!

New Hobby: Bocce Ball

bocce

They are totally going to do it later.

Okay, so I’m going to be on this podcast, You, Me, Them, Everyone, that’s recorded live at a bar here in DC called The Looking Glass Lounge. (Had a date here once. New Year’s. Second date. It was fun if not mildly awkward at times.)

It sounds really cool.

I decide to listen to an episode just to see what it’s all about. I like to be prepared and a friend of mine commented that the host, Brandon Weatherbee, is a little angry. (This scared me. However, on my first listen, I’d say maybe he’s incensed, but not angry. And besides, how could someone with a cool name like Weatherbee ever be angry? My last name sounds like a sneeze and I’m not angry.)

Anyway, I’m listening to the podcast and the couple who formed the DC Bocce League (you heard me: Bocce league, which I coincidentally just learned about Tuesday, which makes me think it’s fate and I should be on this league) are on talking about Bocce, naturally, and the woman says that Bocce is great for dating. My ears perk up like my cat’s when he hears a can being opened. Apparently, the league has spawned four married couples and you can even buy Bocce onesies for your Bocce babies. Cute.

Anyway, best part is Brandon asks Bocce lady if she’s ever gotten laid (as a direct result of being a part of the Bocce league, I presume) and she was like “Who hasn’t?”

It’s much funnier when you listen to the podcast. I promise.

Anyway, if you’re looking for someone to take romantic pics with when the Cherry Blossoms are in bloom or maybe someone just to have spring sex with, play Bocce. I encourage it.

I also encourage coming to the show on Monday, 3/14, 8:30pm.

Mo’ Men

male to female ratio

I'm slightly uncomfortable with this picture, but it gets my point across about male-female ratio stuff.

Just got back last night from Los Mangeles, as my friend dubbed the town because, holy crap, dudes are everywhere. Everywhere. I usually don’t feel outnumbered as a woman, but I did this past weekend, despite my posse of five lovely ladies.

And then tonight, back in DC, I’m at a matchmaking event where, I swear to god, there were 8 women to every 1 man. A quick poll in the ladies’ room confirmed that most women had been matched up with 3 men while most men had been matched up with 8 women. The ladies in the ladies’ room were not happy about these odds.

On a happier note, I met a lot of women I liked tonight.

And I officially turned lesbian.

Just kidding. For now.

I’m less worried about ratio and odds than I am about the No Good Men Syndrome. I’ve seen a number of articles complaining about women being picky, unpractical, searching for a non-existent ideal, slutty, whatever, so despite the controversial and disconcerting nature of the aforementioned article’s subject matter, this a refreshing finger pointed in the other direction, because people, the problem of our dating culture can’t simply be blamed on one (women) or the other (men). It’s an uncomfortable shift on both sides we’re negotiating here and it doesn’t matter how it started.

Which is why I would never change geography for wall-to-wall men, no matter how hot the cashier was at that one hot dog place in downtown LA. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, there are trials and tribulations in every city for every gender as evidenced by a recent note I received from a supremely frustrated guy in Las Vegas who is looking for women with more substance, and I’m not talking rec drugs. (Girls, if you live in LV and are of substance, let me know. I’ve got the hook up.)

However, I might very well make a move West based solely on the year-round availability of bacon avocados (no bacon or bacon flavor involved here) that you eat like an apple but not before drenching the tender green flesh in Meyer lemon juice.

The Price of True Love

girl asking out a guy

Um, so, I just broke up with your best friend, but you wanna go out?

Dear ss,

Is it ok to ask a guy out after he has met my exboyfriend in the past? I have always liked this guy, and once I became single, I asked him out. He isn’t as wealthy as my ex,  however I’m looking for true love now. Please advise.

Sincerely,

K. via email

Dear K.,

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with asking out someone who has met your ex in the past. Unless there’s more to the situation that just that. (Like, they met and are now besties and you stand to create a huge rift in their friendship. Not that I think you would do that.) If they are merely acquaintances, who cares?

Though I am wondering how long you dated your ex and how long you waited after you broke up to ask the new guy out. Are you hesitant because your break up is still fresh? I’m a big believer in downtime between relationships. Even if you’re not feeling hurt by the break up per se, I think it’s important to wipe the slate clean with some time alone to regroup.

I think it’s great that you asked him out, and I’m glad you’re overlooking financial status. You can’t put a price on love. (Yes. That’s right. I used a terrible cliche. But you can’t.) I have to ask though, were you not looking for true love before??

xo, ss

Second Chances

brad womack

Just because he shows up with roses doesn't mean he deserves a second chance. Even The Bachelor Brad Womack. (ABC: I'm talking to you. Cut the cord.)

I had a LONG conversation last night about second chances. Second chances in the vein of when you think the he or she in your life deserves one. I’ve given a second chance – even a third and fourth – several times in my life. They haven’t worked. None were disastrous per se, but we mostly ended up re-enacting the orginal relationship we had–the one that didn’t work the first time. The second time around ended in exactly the same way as the first along with the compounded fatigue of having to work so hard just to make it…work. So much emotional labor.

My mom and dad always say dating relationships shouldn’t be that hard. The true trials and tests come along when you get married. Yes, relationships take work and sacrifice. But it should be feel good to put out that effort. The relationship should not want to make you stab out your eyeballs and/or need three naps a day because you are worn out from trying so hard.

But then, second chances to work for some people. I know they do. When is it right? Anyone have any stories?

Imported Goods (dates that is)

texas man

Men from Texas are h-o-t.

It’s not quite like mail-order brides, but if all y’all are having as much trouble as you say you are with dating in your own city, why not import? That’s right. Bring dates from other zip codes into your geographical fold. You can do this via online dating sites (as my colleague says, “Thank god you can just order online. Keeps thing simple. Seriously.”) or, when you’re traveling, gather men (or women) as you would souvenirs. A love in every port. You’ll never be without. I highly recommend it. Just be prepared to be very honest about your feelings. A visit gone wrong can be AWK-ward. A visit gone right though? Swoooon.

The Term Formerly Known As “Pick-Up Line”

polar bear

Hey Baby, You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day or Baby, My balls should be frozen to this polar icecap, but they're not because you keep me sizzlin'.

I think I’ve said this before, but I love pick-up lines. There’s an art to using them effectively in that you have to convey sincerity about wanting to talk to your objet d’amour – but at the same time you want to be using the line ironically because if you’re dead serious when you say the one about how you didn’t know angels could fly so low, you’re gonna look silly. Maybe creepy. You want it to be like, you know it’s a cheesy up line, but you want to make her/him laugh because you want to talk to him/her. Right?

I think we should change “pick up line” to conversation starter. It simply gets you in there. No one will remember what you said to get the conversation going. Or maybe it will be the great story you tell to all your grandkids.

Are you following me? Anyone?

I heard a new one today – probably the least cheesy sounding one I’ve ever heard and it’s good for men and women:

You: Do you know how much a polar bear weighs?

Her/Him: No, how much?

You: Enough to break the ice. Hi, I’m [insert name here]

[Ba dum chhhhhh]

I’m using it. Watch me.