Approaching Women IN PUBLIC! What?!

pickup_linesDear ss,

How do girls like to be approached in public?  Say, I see a pretty girl in the post office.  How would I approach her?  Make jokes about the slow service?

G in North Carolina

Dear G,

YES! I love it. I think finding a situation-appropriate conversation opener is perfect. Not every woman will take to that – though I feel like the Citizens of the South tend to talk to each other quite a bit, so it wouldn’t be that far out of left field. (In DC, on the other hand, strangers talking to each other usually means someone’s getting mugged. I kid. I kid.)

I think the key with the approach is to get in, say what you need to say, and get out. You want to be intriguing, not creepy, which can be a fine balance with women. Not that you’re creepy – but some women are guarded. Also, gauge her response. If she’s overtly flirting back, continue. If she’s shy and unsure, find a way to get in touch with her later and say goodbye. Don’t overstay your welcome.

A guy at my gym picked me up in a very strategic way. He stopped me one day as I plowed through my workout, asked my name and chatted with me for a couple minutes. Found out just enough about me so that when we ran into each other again a week or two later, he remembered my name, what we talked about and had an idea for a date that was not threatening (he invited me to his book club). We ended up going to Barnes & Noble and bought each other our favorite books. He was quiet, patient and thoughtful in his approach and that made me feel comfortable. 

Maybe you crash and burn a couple times before you get it right. But that’s ok. Good practice because dating is a numbers game.

Personally, I love the funny approach and creative pick up lines are hilarious and such a good ice breaker. Not all women feel this way which is such a shame. Sigh. Good luck out there!

xo, ss


4 responses to “Approaching Women IN PUBLIC! What?!

  1. so glad I found this!!! Love the rules. Will have to add them to my own… although, I noticed you have some that I use as well.

  2. The Single Scientist

    Brenda – Glad you like it. And please send me any of your rules – and what hasn’t worked. It’s always fun to hear what other people are doing.

  3. I just saw your article in City Living magazine (DC edition), and that’s what drew me to this website.

    I prefer to approach women in settings where people are gathered to pursue a shared interest. These include classes, music and theatre performances, civic and religious activities, and political campaigns.

    In a random setting (on the bus, for example), I might approach a woman if I can think up an informed question to ask her, say, about the book that she is reading, or if she and I make enough eye contact.

  4. The Single Scientist

    Andrew – Thanks for saying that. I’ve been pounding the scripture of doing things you like to do in order to meet people with like interests. I’m TERRIBLE at doing this myself. But I’ve made some strides 🙂 Question: how much is “enough” eye contact?

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