Where do you meet men?

Dear ss,

I am 46 and divorced. Where can I go to meet nice men my age in the DC area? Please don’t tell me a bar!

Single and Restless in Vienna

Dear SaRiV,

Sister, you have come to the right place. And I would never tell you to go to a bar to meet men. That’s just no good. The key here is diversifying your portfolio and being proactive.

First thing’s first: Set up a profile on an online dating site. There’s simply no excuse not to be online. It’s how I meet 98.724% of the guys I go out with. Go to OK Cupid. I see the same guys on there who are also on match.com, eHarmony and theonion.com personals, so it’s good representation of single males in the area who are dating online. Also, it’s free.

2nd: Decide what you like to do and join groups of people that like to do that sort of thing, too. I’m generally bad at following this advice for myself, but whenever I do, at the very least, I make a new friend (who might know someone). Maybe it’s a running club or ballroom dancing. There are groups for everything. (Meetup.com is a great resource.)

3rd: I’ve invested some serious $$ into dating services in the past, so I am ALL about spending as little money as possible now. However, if you have the disposable income to hire a matchmaker this is totally legit. Just be sure to do your research. Make sure you feel comfortable with who you work with (they are going to ask you a lot of questions about yourself!) and also find out about their clients. A matchmaking service is only as good as its client base.

Other things you can do:

  • Put the word out to your friends that you are open to being set up on dates.
  • Strike up conversations with people around you whereever you go. A dating coach I used once was adamant about the fact that you constantly have to be putting yourself out there. When I followed his advice, I was not lacking in dates. Don’t get me wrong. I’m an introvert, so it wasn’t easy at all. But it worked.
  • Don’t not do something because you don’t have anyone to do it with (going to movies, museums, dinner). You never know who you will meet along the way.

xo, ss


2 responses to “Where do you meet men?

  1. good advice! i met my hubby online. also, my dear friend met her serious beau when she went to a “first friday” type gallery crawl event – she went alone because she didn’t have a friend to go with, and it left her open to meet her man, who was also out doing the gallery walk that night.

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