Ditching the Date (on the date)

Sometimes it's an emergency: Scope out potential exits when you get to a date. (And if it goes that bad, don't be above crawling out a window.)

Normally, I would never condone peacing out on a date before it’s over and while he/she is in the bathroom. BUT, then when it comes to dating and everything else in life, never say never.

A friend was telling me about an impending date. She was worried about the guy not having a beard  because she’d seen him once with facial hair and another time without and, well the stubble seemed crucial. I started my nauseating preaching about overlooking the superficial stuff. “He can always grow it back!” I told her. And then this happened (in her words):

OMG – the date….ugh….ok so at first it was great. He was super chatty, HE GREW THE BEARD BACK (haha), asked me a lot of questions about myself and THEN he dropped a major bomb.

We were talking about the show Eastbound & Down and I said that a lot of people tell me I look like April and he was like ‘wow, April’s really hot, that’s a huge compliment’ and I could sort of tell he didn’t agree. So I pushed him a bit and said ‘oh so you don’t think we look alike?’ and he said ‘well, theres a resemblance, but shes just way tanner….and she’s prettier than you.’  Can you imagine how fast my jaw hit the floor?!??! Like, WHO SAYS THAT?! On a first date nonetheless!? So, of course he realized what he had said and tried to justify it by saying that she’s an actress, not a real person and I would never say that he was hotter than Brad Pitt blah blah blah. Whatever. When he was in the bathroom, I peaced out. He txtd me and apologized, and then today he g-chatted me and apologized profusely and said he didn’t remember saying that ‘she was prettier than me.’  Ughhh, another one bites the dust…. 😉

Apparently, I was talking to the wrong person about superficiality. Actually, I don’t think he was being superficial at all. Just stupid.

There are lessons here:

1. Guys, Never, ever, ever EVER tell a girl you want to date, woo, get in the pants of, that someone, even a celebrity, is hotter than her. (This is not a “never say never” situation. Err on the side of caution.) In fact, don’t admit to thinking anyone is hot except for your date on the first few dates.  Women aren’t like men. We don’t care that April is an actress and therefore it’s ok for her to be hotter. We want to be the hottest to you. Period. This is one of those things that you don’t actually have to understand. You just do.

2. Ditching a date when you’ve been thoroughly insulted is ok. Ditching a date while the date is in the bathroom after you’ve been thoroughly insulted is ok. I was on a terrible date once and when the guy went to the bathroom he actually said, “I’ll understand if you’re not here when I get back.” I stayed. And he became “Vagina Guy” to all of my friends — “CarrotTop” in The Science of Single. You can read all about him and other miserable, funny, silly, awesome dates I went on starting Jan. 4. (Shameless plug over.)

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4 responses to “Ditching the Date (on the date)

  1. I’m so glad you posted about this. I didn’t think I’d ever ditch a date until last week: I was meeting my date at a bar and we were supposed to go to a movie. We never made the movie because he was on the phone the ENTIRE time (texting at the bar and then stepping outside to talk). I contemplated ditching him at least 50 times, but it was trivia night at the bar so I decided to just stay and mingle with the other people around me. Turns out, a guy I had a fling with was at a nearby table and he called me over to hang out with him and his friends. So I guess I still ditched him, even though I didn’t completely leave the bar. Not sure if that’s better or worse, but I felt vindicated.

    • The Single Scientist

      Miss Procras: THAT. IS. AWESOME. Not the date-being-a-DB part. The part where you ditch him for another guy AT THE SAME BAR. Burrrrrrrrrrn. I can NOT stand it when people are on their phones in front of me. Unless it’s absolutely necessary. And there are times like that. [Love your blog BTW!] xo, ss

  2. Oh, I don’t know if I think ditching someone is OK…unless he says something outright offensive to you. I think the example here could be an honest mistake of just being stupid…but not with bad intentions…and if he’s sorry, then he deserves you at least telling him to his face you are no longer interested. I would be so hurt if I accidentally said something stupid, apologized, and then went to the bathroom and came back and the person was gone. Just seems unnecessarily rude. But maybe it’s just me?

    • The Single Scientist

      I totally see what you’re saying, BUT that comment was unnecessarily rude, regardless of intent. (And the fact that he didn’t even KNOW that it would be rude… COME ON dude.) Sure confronting the issue head on is always the best policy and I’m a big fan of just putting it all out there, but that comment just sticks in my craw. I give the walk out a pass.

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