Stat Naps: Things friends buy you when you’re single, Part II

hello napkins

Hello Napkins by Love from Queen.

Similar to Grow A Lover, I’ve had these cocktail naps for a few years in the corner of my kitchen with the pile of things that just keep getting rearranged. My friend thought they were funny. So did I. I think she also thought I would use them. I haven’t. (Sorry Carey.)

But maybe I SHOULD.

I filled one out. Would you date me?

will you go with me napkin

It’s kind of like a “will you go with me?” note.

It’s also like one of those American Express ads.

It’s also like the centerfold data sheet in Playboy, which, incidentally, is available as a video online. Claire Sinclair is the October 2010 Playmate, and I learned she is 19, weighs 125 pounds and is turned on by boyish men — “manboys who are slightly awkward and have a few eccentricities. [giggle]”

Maybe I will use a stat nap when I go out on Friday with the ladies. Or maybe, MAYBE I will hand one to Gym Crush so he can wipe the sweat from his brow after a long run. Or perhaps I will dangle and drop it Victorian style in front of his treadmill so he has a reason to talk to me. [giggle]

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6 responses to “Stat Naps: Things friends buy you when you’re single, Part II

  1. You may have just stolen my boyfriend with your last answer.

  2. Why don’t you just talk to Gym Crush? Say “hello”. This is what women are always telling men what to say when they don’t know what to say. Or even if they do.

    • The Single Scientist

      you make a valid point. my first reaction is some things are better left unsaid. read: i’ve built this up in my head and now i’m afraid of rejection. also read: i’ve acted on crushes like this before and the reality is often not quite as exciting. i sound so — practical. it’s settled. i will say hello tonight. thanks!

  3. No word on how it went.

  4. The Single Scientist

    didn’t. no show. but thanks for checking up!

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