Just Do It

Hot servers like to go on dates, too.

Dear ss,

How appropriate is it to leave your number on the receipt at a diner for the server? Bad idea? I talked to him and I thought he was giving me the vibe, but it might be against the rules to ask customers out?


Server Stalker

Dear Server Stalker,

I can’t poo-poo the idea of leaving your phone number on a receipt because I’ve done it myself. I was 16 having a chicken sandwich and chocolate milkshake at Chili’s with my bestie. The server was hot. I left my number. He didn’t call. Probably because I was 16 and he was 24 and me and my friend were giggling at him over milkshakes and I also might have been wearing leather Balloon hi-tops with pink laces.

Anyway, onto your issue. Since I’ve been on an empowerment kick, my short and sweet solution is to go back to his restaurant, talk to him and ask him out. I think it’s fair to say servers and bartenders get hit on a lot so they might be wary of getting a random number, even from a knock out like you. And really, why would you want to be like every other random chick who slips him her digits indiscriminately? Distinguish yourself! Go talk to him again and if he doesn’t ask you out first, be like a Nike athlete and just do it.

Regardless of the outcome, it will be good experience in just putting yourself out there. It’s not a big deal to be turned down, despite what your pride will tell you. And, mostly likely, if you are turned down, it won’t have anything to do with you. (Three reasons he says no: girlfriend, gay, or otherwise indisposed. None of these = something’s wrong with you). Treat it like a project. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain—confidence and a date with a guy you’re interested in.

When I approach these types of situations (i.e. smiling at Gym Crush), I try to bring some levity to the situation; I’m just smiling at someone who goes to my gym. He doesn’t have to know I’ve drooled over him for months now. Same with you. You’re simply talking to Hot Server and then, “Hey! Maybe we should have coffee together!” If he says no, just smile, bat your eyelashes and say, “Bummer.” He’ll be sorry. Trust me.

xo, ss

p.s. Do NOT ask to take his picture or get your picture taken with him.

p.p.s. For men wanting to ask the female server out, some advice I found online.


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