2010: The Year You Find Love

In 2010, I will love this view from the beach in Cannes.

This was the subject of an email from eHarmony. I used that site when I was researching “The Science of Single” (in stores Winter 2011!). It was pretty good. But a little more $$$ than I wanted to pay. And it requires more time to weed through and communicate with the profiles of men sent to you everyday. My friend did recently get married to someone she met on eHarmony. It was the first and last guy she went out with once I finally talked her into online dating. One date. I’d been dating online for 5 years and been out with countless men and she scores on her first date. Thankfully I love her.

Anyway, eHarmony’s pouncing with emails and It’s Just Lunch has started bugging me again, too. Oh IJL. Speaking of expensive. And kind of a waste of time. I also researched them for “The Science of Single” (in stores Winter 2011!). $1300 bought me 14 dates or one year of their matchmaking services. I went on 7 dates. The men were…not right. At all. My contract ran out. Now, women with names like Ashley and Brittany are calling me to renew my contract. The message went exactly like this  [insert pitched Valley Girl/Cheerleaderese intonation at your own discretion]:

Hey! It’s Ashley over at It’s Just Lunch. I want to touch base with you because I have a ton of guys in their 30s and 40s and want to see what you’re current dating status is. Give me a call!

First of all, there’s something about being relegated to the 30/40 age group that pisses me off. I don’t know why. What? I’m too old for 20 somethings now? The answer to this is generally yes. As well, there are a very few 20-somethings who I would be interested in myself. Maybe one. Or two. Five, tops.

Secondly, Ashley called me three times. Three times. I was like, I’m in a meeting. I can’t talk. I’m washing my hair. It was worse than being leered at by Gym Stalker. So you know what I did? I lied. I told Ashley I have a boyfriend. It’s going great. We are very serious. Oh, the lies. I don’t know why I couldn’t just say,

Hey Ashley, I don’t like your matchmaking service. You set me up with some douche bags a couple years ago and the only reason I’m not still mad is because it was great fodder for my book, ‘The Science of Single’ (in stores Winter 2011!). And while I actually do have $1300 sitting around gaining interest, I’m going to blow it on fabulous trips to Aspen and Cannes this year where hopefully I will be soaking in Cristal bubble baths with Diddy. Peace!

But I didn’t. And I promised her I would tell all of my single gal pals about how many men IJL has. I don’t have any single gal pals, btw, so that was also a lie. However, ladies out there in DC proper reading this blog, Heads up! IJL has lots of men in their 30s and 40s to set you up with! And they’re waiting for your call! 1.800.335.8624

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2 responses to “2010: The Year You Find Love

  1. When is your book coming out???

  2. The Single Scientist

    Wo_Mann: Winter 2011! HAHAHAHAHHA

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