Not the kind of question I was looking for, but…

…a good one nonetheless. It came in a couple days ago and is referring to the fact that it didn’t work out with one guy I went on some dates with:

Q: SS, Please don’t take this personally, but is it possible you turned him off in some sort?

A: Well, yes. It is quite possible that I turned him off. However, I don’t think I’m doing anything wrong per se. (Though having written a book on dating hasn’t exactly been stellar for the act of dating.) I think I, along with most people in the world, am just being myself. And if that is a turn off, well, I’ll just be hanging out and doing what I like and when I like to do it until someone comes along who thinks all my ridiculous quirks make me the bee’s knees. I mean, I’m not going to change my behavior as some books might have women (and men) do. That just becomes a mishagos of good intentions. Acting outside of yourself to land a date is never advisable. One day it will click like it’s supposed to. I mean, not every date can be “it.”

And then there’s 50% of the equation that is completely and utterly out of my control: the other person. You just never know what’s going on in someone else’s life and why they make the decisions that they do. Often, those decisions have nothing to do with you or me or any third party. I can’t control or change or take responsibility for that. And I shouldn’t. So I go about my merry way, being 5 minutes late to everything, baking pies, flipping a coin between yoga and the gym, scrambling to get through this week’s New Yorker before the next one comes, finishing the blasted book and dreaming of a bigger apartment. The usual.


4 responses to “Not the kind of question I was looking for, but…

  1. oy vey caramba. you took it personally.

    • The Single Scientist

      zankouchickenz: I didn’t take it personally. Promise. I’m way past worrying about what I may or may not be doing right. I was simply responding to your question because it was a good and fair question.

  2. I think you are great, so don’t hate me but do you believe in the power of positive thinking? Maybe by becoming “long term relationship seeker scientist” or The Science of Getting Married Scientist those things will be more likely to occur

    You know the saying “I think, therefore I am”, if you think you are the Single Scientist, I think you will always be Single. . . . . I am not saying this to be mean. You are a smart, kind, talented writer and nothing would make me more happy then seeing you get what you want.

  3. The Single Scientist

    x2 – Well I AM looking for an idea for a new book…BUT I was hoping to leave myself out of it this time. I will say that I mean Single Scientist as a scientist of singles — like scientists of dinosaurs and plants. People that study them don’t actually have to be them. And honestly, I’m not really a scientist. (Shocking reveal, I know!) HOWEVER, I’m not one to ever turn down the power of positive thinking. I’m looking at your site now. Thanks for your words!

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