When to facebook?

Be careful how you wield this powerful weapon.

Be careful how you wield this powerful weapon.

First of all, Facebook as a verb makes me either want to giggle or vomit, depending on the day. (I’m assuming if it’s used as a verb it’s not capitalized.) But it’s here to stay, no matter what all the naysayers are saying. (I just went to a conference on social media with lots of smart people who talked about Facebook as a shopping cart as opposed to the product. I don’t exactly know what that means, but the gist was, Facebook is positioning itself as something you need to have to get all your stuff rather than a passing trend that we buy, return or throw in the back of the closet for the silverfish to get at.)

Anyway, Facebook and dating. I don’t use Facebook FOR dating. It’s just a little too…personal for such a public forum. Heck, I don’t even list my relationship status. But facebook does play into the dating game in the sense of when to facebook someone you met and are starting to date. There are no hard-and-fast rules. It’s more of a gut feeling of how quickly you to incorporate someone in your life who you haven’t even introduced to your friends yet. And lord knows that could be months. Sure it’s fun to have the open forum to dissect this potential bfriend’s life, but, then he’s your friend for life — until you defriend him. And that’s always uncomfortable.

Here are some general rules to follow with Facebook:

1. If you meet someone online, go out at least once, preferably twice, before becoming Facebook friends. However, you may flagrantly facebook (re: stalk) as much as privacy settings let you.

2. Generally wait for him to facebook you. (The whole pursuit thing. Let him lead it.)

3. Perhaps bring up becoming Facebook friends prior to any facebooking to ensure it’s okay and there’s no pressure from either party.

4. Don’t write personal things on his/her wall. Keep it light. (No invitations to come over for a glass of wine. This is marking behavior and not appropriate.)


2 responses to “When to facebook?

  1. Sometimes facebook is better then Us Weekly because you personally know all the players. “Shannon changed her relationship status” “Shannon and Alex are now Dating” and then for months you follow your friend Shannon’s new relationship, the cute pictures at the Bar, Alex playing with Shannon’s dog. Slowly but surely Shannon’s status says something cryptic like “I am still waiting” and “if it smells rotten . . . it is” then a few weeks later you see the notification “Shannon changed her relationship status to Single” – and just like that it’s over. Then its my que write on Shannon’s wall “drinks Friday?”

  2. The Single Scientist

    x2222- The broken heart on facebook when someone becomes single is so sad.

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