True Love Can Be Yours.

I found this blog post on how to get the man of your dreams. It might be the best thing I have ever read in my entire life. My fave tips:

1. “Tight and ill-fitting clothes are best. No undergarments if possible, but if you must, be sure they show.”

2. “Wear hair that is obviously styled, yet still long, by cutting the top shorter and leaving the sides and backs long.”

3. “Oh, and don’t forget the eyeliner. Ever see Amy Winehouse’s eyes? She goes for a dramatic look and see what she has acheived! Amy is an example for us all.”

4. “Wise music choices are invaluable in ensuring your man doesn’t stray…Better to go for the soft rock favorites like Michael McDonald’s Yah Mo Be There…Another fantastic choice is When I Fall in Love by Celine Dion and Clive Davis.”

5. “If you want to keep that special guy, have sex with him. The sooner the better. Seriously. It is not true that men are not interested in women who put out early.”

Really? Sounds like a slut with a mullet to me. But what the hell do I know? Clearly my version of how to get a man no work so good.

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