Uh, okay. So I was just reading through some old-as-dirt posts searching for a link and found the one from August where I was concerned that I had different ideologies with this guy I’d been out with twice. (He was all for the war, wanted to serve in it. That’s a pretty big dealbreaker for someone like me. I never called him back.)
And you know, I think Phil ripped off my line. He’d found the blog a week before he dumped me. I took it down for a while because I wasn’t ready for him to read all about everyone I had dated before him and all those thoughts and feelings because those things exist in a moment and aren’t necessarily true anymore and if they are, they should come from me not my blog.
Anyway, I put the blog back up, he read it and then broke up with me a week later using one of my own excuses. (And I know he read that post because he referenced it a few days before.) Maybe it was like he subconsciously picked up on “different ideologies” as an excuse I find acceptable for dumping someone and just dropped it on me. Or MAYBE he knows the guy I dumped and this is just retribution. That would be a cool story.
Of course this still leads to WHY he needed an excuse, because really, he couldn’t/wouldn’t/didn’t tell me a single ideology that was off. And that excuse would have been okay only if we’d went out twice. But when you spend time with someone, I think you owe them a little more than that. Maybe the post about me needing attention and feeling vulnerable etc etc etc just scared him. Or the fact that a psychic was telling me all these things about myself. Maybe that scared him. I don’t know. I’m not real big on pinning the “fraidy cat” thing on guys who don’t want to date me. “Why’d you guys break up?” “Oh, he was just scared.” Or “he’s emotionally unavailable” or “he loves me, he just doesn’t know it.” Christ. Please.
(Seriously, I’m almost done with bitching about this. I know this because I haven’t cried once in FOUR WHOLE DAYS.)
Blogs might be bad for dating. But then again, if reading all my dirty laundry was why he broke it off (he said it wasn’t when I asked, but I’m not sure I believe that anymore), better have it done with now than wait for the book to come out, because that jammy is chock full of soil.