And for all the ladies (and guys) getting back out there just like me, I present to you the Vumber, the “anyphone, anytime, anywhere phone number that keeps your identity private until you decide it not to be.” Perfect for weeding through the herds of pyscho Wildebeests looking to hump your leg. Personally, I prefer the Bumber, which is a bum number that actually rings to an answering machine that explains in snarky tough love-ese that the person who gave you the number wasn’t at all interested. At all. That you weren’t good enough. Not pretty enough.
Why be upfront with someone when some random answering machine can do it for you? They should make one for break ups. Though we’d have a lot of people milling around in the angry stage of loss for a long time.