Alright, so like, all I had to do was ask the universe for the perfect man and it would send me one? I mean, I thought it was great to date online and get to punch in criteria for age and height, so this is like freaking singledom nirvana. “This” being the Magic List.
Yes, yes it’s an idea from one of Oprah’s cronies, so I automatically kind of hate it. But it’s an interesting concept: You just write down what you want for yourself (man, woman, job, happiness) put it in the back of the closet and whatever it is will come, or happen, or appear. There are some rules. You have to be kind of specific (the woman who’s story was told had 100 criteria for her perfect mate) and you have to ask from your Core of Peace – from your heart. No shallow get-rich-quick attempts here. The Universe will tell you to talk to the hand (just like Oprah) if you’re just too entrenched in materialism.
I made out a list last spring because I was reading a book about dating and it told me to. It was a non-negotiable list for what I wanted in a guy. I also had to write a vision statement for the relationship I’m looking for. The author’s reason for all of this didn’t have much to do with mystical universe-inspired gifts, though. It was to clarify for myself what’s important to me. Again, it had to be anchored in fundamental issues like “I want to meet someone who is good with their finances and communicates freely with their feelings” versus “please send me a hot sugar daddy with hunky arms and lots o’ scratch.” All that superficial stuff is just that, and if you’re focused on it, you won’t be focused on what’s really important. True that.
I looked back at my vision statement and laughed. I sound retarded. Some of it I couldn’t disagree with more. Some of it requires Kenny G playing in the background to be read, it’s that cheesy. But the non-negotiables are still really important to me:
• Not addictive (i took this one from the author’s list just to get started. it seems like a given, but the truth is, i don’t want to date anyone addicted, so it works.)
• Loves to laugh
• Deals well with stress
• Handles problems immediately
• Makes a home
• Doesn’t smoke
• Respects my choices and is not belittling
• Knows life is just as important as work
• Spiritual but not religious
• Open to new perspectives
• Always willing to try new things
So like, basically me, but with penis.
Phil seems to fit in with most of these, though he has been wearing The Patch to quit smoking. Thing is, I don’t really think he was really a smoker. Whatever. Do I think I met him because I made a list? Eh. I dunno. What’s for certain: My list has made me more capable of seeing what’s important to me in other people. Maybe the universe read my list and is hurtling men my way. Or maybe it’s more of a road map that I follow. I like the idea of being a more active participant in this whole thing, anyway. Magical hand outs might be just a little too hokey—even for me.