Over the past ten years, I’ve come up with two rules for dating:
1. Never get back together with someone. You broke up for a reason.
2. Never date long distance. You’ll drive yourself insane.
These are merely rules for me to follow since I certainly know many people who don’t follow my stringent guidelines and end up in loving relationships. But me, I know myself. I know my limitations. And I promised myself, unequivocally, I would avoid long distance and reunions at all costs. Of course, I made this promise when I wasn’t involved with anyone and didn’t have a single emotion to balance the weight of these notions against. That was a pretty shitty promise to make to myself because I’m now poised to break them both. Just like that.
I’m supposed to visit Simon. In two weeks. It seemed like a good idea when we planned it a week ago. But now that I’m done with the book and I’ve had time to really think…I dunno. Am I just setting myself up for failure? I miss him. I want to go. I feel like I shouldn’t go.
“Don’t should on yourself.” That’s what my wonderful friends Nate and Jason told me on Saturday night. Made sense after two bottles of wine. But I’ve only had two glasses tonight and I’m back to shoulding on myself.
I’ve proven that I’m capable of moving on, why am I pre-empting the possibilities with a bunch of what-ifs?