Monthly Archives: September 2007

Motorcycle Guy a.k.a Casper

Not a peep for two weeks from MG (though, as soon as Simon showed up, any email from MG became moot anyway) and then this:

“I’m sorry not to have been in touch. I’m still not really in touch, but hopefully with this little time holder you’ll know that I’m trying. I’m not really around until Monday next and then only as a ghost. Talk to you soon, MG”

Does someone have a decoder ring because I don’t know what the hell that means. I mean, COME ON. There are no place holders after two dates, if that’s what you would call our outings. Thing is, I kind of just don’t care because I kinda just forgot about him.

Now what to do with his wine glasses and bowl and dishtowel that were once so charming and now such a nuisance.

It’s just never simple…

And just when I thought I had the whole thing figured out. (Like really, there was a yoga class somewhere in there by the end of which, during shavasana, I’d come to terms with how Simon and I would never have worked out anyway.) (more)

Attention Class!

Our lesson plan today: What not to do when the open-ender comes into town.

Simon will be in town for a wedding this weekend. He finally called me last week when he was back from traveling. Hearing his voice was a relief—to know that I actually hadn’t imagined dating him.

He’s coming on Friday. He’s staying with me. He said he was really looking forward to it. Are there any lines to read between? I told him he couldn’t bring any bridesmaids back to the apartment after the reception. I had to set the boundaries for our first platonic meet after the open-ended break up of our non-relationship. (more)

Misogynistic Undertones

Misogynistic Undertones

I was looking up the definitions of Dirty Sanchez and Rusty Trombone (don’t ask) and I stumbled on a whole vat of misogyny. I can’t stop laughing. My faves:

Coyote: This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty wombat and you know you’ve got to give her the slip. However, you realize that your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore you must gnaw off your own arm to get out of the situation. Can be very painful.

Even better:

Ray-Bans: Put your testicles over her eye sockets while getting head.

Read ’em all…

A Civilized Evening

Motorcycle Guy showed up at my stoop for our mini date with a bottle of Torrentes (that’d be white wine), chilled stemware, and a fruit and cheese plate. It was a darling arrangement of meticulously cut pineapple, Asian pear and cheese in pretty patterns and layers, and red pepper halves “for color,” all sprinkled chopped pine nuts. Oh yeah, and the yellow paper napkins. If he weren’t so damn heterosexual he’d be so damn gay. (more)

Ain’t no love in the city

It’s September 8th. It’s supposed to be my day for romance this month according to And it was gonna be perfect. Motorcycle Guy and I are were going sailing on his catamaran. (He’s mobile by land and water.) Picnic from the farmer’s market, day on the water under the sun. (more)

Gemini’s Twin

It’s September 1st and that means the new monthly report. Susan Miller doesn’t disappoint:

“Venus, the love planet, has been lethargic for months but will switch to a strong and speedy orbit on September 8. From then on, watch for signs that indeed you have put your love life on the right track. October will be even better for romance, so dear Gemini, you’ll be on a roll!”

Don’t give a shit about my horoscope? Here, have another youtube video.