Lazy, Lazy Fish

Remember how I said I would never date online again? I lied.

Sort of.

I technically haven’t been on a date with someone I’ve met online lately. But I’ve been checking out plentyoffish.com. It’s not looking so good.

I’ve received some emails. They’re mildly disturbing. These PoF guys are lah-hay-zeee. For instance, you can send a “quick email” where the subject line is filled in for you. That subject line is “hi.” And these dudes will send an “email” and all it will be is “hi” in the subject line. They’ve done nothing except surf and click! I already feel ignored. Sometimes, they will put “how r u?” in the body text. That’s all. There is nothing to work with there. Nothing. Nada. Zero. They need one of these.

One guy actually had a great email–he responded to the essential things in my profile such as my love for Sam Cooke. But then I looked at his profile and it was entirely about the crazy dates he’s been on, and in essence, bashing the women he’s been out with. Now, it’s mildly hypocritical that I judge him on this because I did, indeed, do this very thing in my book (The Science of Single, out January 2011), but dude, not in an online profile. Come on bro!

The other kind of emails I’ve received are profile regurgitations, which is fine I suppose, but terribly unimaginative. And there’s nothing to respond to. When I send an email to someone I’m interested in (as I did this evening–wish me luck!), I comment on his profile, try to relate it back to something I do or think, and ask a question.Very important to ask a question. Because otherwise, the other person doesn’t have anything to respond to.

Soooooo, yeah. We shall see.

In other, blond-hair news, I’ve noticed a trend of older African American men on bikes riding up behind me and striking up conversation. It’s a very specific demographic and it has happened frequently in exactly the same way. It also just started to happen right after I had my locks lightened. Soooo, there it is. Is being blond more fun? Well. “Fun” might be a stretch. But I kind of like strangers talking to me. Makes me feel approachable. And these guys have been really nice. We usually talk about the weather. I like that. I’m into the weather.

I’m also into granola right now. This recipe is amazing. I added a little chili pepper to the batch tonight. Maybe I should throw some chili pepper on my lazy fishies.