Outside the Columbia Heights' Metro. The guy asked why I was taking pictures of his flowers and not buying them. Then he asked me to watch his stand while he got lunch. It was weird. But funny. My point: Flowers are cheap.
Easy peasy. And it works. Just don’t show up on the first (blind) date with a dozen white roses. Ooph. A dozen is a statement. An impression. And they’re white. And there are so many. And lots of babies breath. And filler greens. What a production. A little too much even though the gesture comes from the right place. (This did happen and he did get terse when I did tell him I thought it would only be friends. I didn’t really want to be friends, but that’s just the nice way of saying I’m not feeling it. And he was all, “Well I think both of us know this isn’t about becoming friends and I was clear to [mutual friend] that friends is not what I am looking for.” I only use the “friends” thing now when I really mean it. Except this one time. But that was different.)
Back to flowers.
I actually would steer clear of roses in general unless she really likes them. Cliche. BIG fan of peonies. Daisies. Tulips.
Question to the people: Do guys ever want girls to bring them flowers? Would the gesture be lost on them or just kind of weird? I’m thinking so. Discuss.
The first tip was to surprise your date with a CD of her favorite music. Love this idea. And I’m lucky to have received PLENTY of music from guys I’m dating—a CD left on my windshield in the middle of a rainy night (awwww) and free MP3 downloads. (Men really love to bring over their hard drive and offer up all their music in this sort of crazy cockfight with John Cusack circa High Fidelity when he detailed the labor of love that it is to make a mix tape. If only he’d had digital then.) But I have to say, these song offerings have always been less about me and my tastes and more about him and his tastes.
Not that I’m complaining. I’ve been introduced to amazing bands I love dearly, and I think those guys truly had the best of intentions and were just trying to impress. And that’s endearing. But I’m into this idea of a CD of my music. It shows he’s listening, taking a few mental notes, understanding.
So yes, a CD of your lady’s music. Love it. And sure, throw some of your songs in there, too. I think it provides for a nice mix. Two songs to avoid:
Sample lyric: “When it’s the right time, what it taste like, Gimme a taste test and Ima get you. Got the banana, now let me split you. Ha!”
2. Trey Songz’s: Reinvented Sex Feat. Usher and Keri Hilson
Sample lyric: “… got that oven pre-heated. Trey invented sex, but he ain’t teach you how to eat it. On ya back now, spread it out now. Which one of ya’ll? Which two of ya’ll? Which two of ya’ll goin home with Usherrrr?”
I heard them both today and laughed out loud the entire time. I blushed a little, too. What is up with these lyrics? Why is nothing left to the imagination? Is Usher trying to outdo Ludacris? Is there a R&B/rap battle going on I don’t know about? Is this what the kids are listening to now?
I obviously prefer Ludacris’ tongue-in-cheek (and apparently everywhere else) rhymes to Usher’s induglent whines. But nothing beats Ludacris’ rap in Usher’s “Yeah”:
“Lets drank, you the one to please, Ludacris fill cups like double d’s. Me and Ush once more and we leave em dead, we want a lady in the street but a freak in the bed to say…”
A dating coach told me once that women have a hard time dating when they are unhappy with their weight. Likewise, men hold off when they don’t feel financially secure. These are generalizations, but I have definitely had my moments when I stopped dating because I didn’t feel good about myself, and that lack of confidence is usually directly tied into the number on the scale or the way my clothes fit now that I don’t have to stuff my yellow-and-white polka-dot bikini with Puffs tissue like I did when I was a gangly preteen. (And yes, that’s a true story. I was tired of being laughed at for being flat chested.) There’s nothing particularly wrong with my weight or clothes, it’s just that I don’t look like this, which will never happen unless I ate one leaf a day of the cabbage sitting in my fridge. And nothing else.
Anyway, apparently curves are back thanks in part to my new girl crush Christina Hendricks aka Joan on Mad Men. (You really should be watching this show, if for nothing else the clothes and Jon Hamm. Mildly obsessed here.)
Okay, so cover design for the book starts like NOW and the subtitle we came up with four years ago (before the book was written) just doesn’t work anymore.
Here’s where it stands:
“The Science of Single: One Woman Experiments With Modern Dating in Pursuit of Real Chemistry and Real Answers.”
I feel like it needs more zing.
Anyone have any ideas? I know all of you haven’t read the book, but I’m all ears for even silly inspiration.
(If you can’t see the video, click here to go to youtube.)
Valley Girl, the movie.
Randy+ Julie=sparky chemistry
You kinda have to fast forward to 3:27 for Randy’s confessional and The Plimsouls song. I highly recommend the entire movie, too. Nicolas Cage’s best work. By far. (Don’t let his National Treasure crap throw you off. He’s a hunk.)
Wouldn’t it be awesome if we all could be this raw and outward in our feelings? It would take the mystery of wondering, “Does he like me?” “Does she care?” But replacing it with this type of certainty and confidence…oh man. Swooooooooooooooooooon.
Got a question about dating, love, sex, or what to wear to work tomorrow? I have answers. And lots of opinions. Email [email protected] I'll respond within 3 hours, though I can't guarantee you will like it.
