Entries from January 2010
Speed dating: Totally hokey. But a great way to get out there.
It’s January 12th single girls and boys. I don’t care if you make new year’s resolutions or not. It is time to get off the couch, fluff up your hair and start filling up your dance card with dates. After all, January is no time to be a single spoon.
Yes, trudging through the icy cold winds of winter to be no more than 5 minutes late to a blind date effing blows. But I won’t hear another complaint about it. Single people should be social. Why? you ask. Because ss said so. (ss is me.)
Admittedly, getting out there is tough. So here are some tips for breaking the comfort seal:
1. Go online. You don’t even have to leave the couch for at least a week when you take the cyber-dating route. I’ve been on The Onion personals, Match.com, eHarmony, and Jdate. They all work. Pick one. Pick two.
2. Smile at everyone. This includes members of the opposite sex and your sex. The idea is to practice connecting with people so when you see your gym crush on the treadmill, you won’t get a strange constipated look on your face and turn the other way. Not that I would ever do that.
3. Hook up with someone. Don’t force this one. But if you do have someone handy around you can make time with, step to. The reason for this is, have you ever noticed when you start dating someone, all of sudden people start noticing you? Maybe asking you out more? It’s the “when it rains, it pours” theory and I’m sticking to it.
4. Sign up for something. Pick something. Anything. I recently took an acting class and will sign up for French and cooking classes for February. Maybe I’ll meet someone to go out with. Maybe I’ll meet someone who knows someone to go out with. Maybe I won’t meet anyone but I will learn to braise a cut of animal and how to say tough titty en francais. (“Tough titty” got lost somewhere in 1987. I’m bring it back. As in, “Tough titty you don’t want to get off the couch and start dating again. Just do it.”)
Categories: Dating · Relationships · Sex
Tagged: dating tips, hooking up, how to meet people, new year's resolutions, online dating
I'll take the one 2nd from the right please. kthx.
I was watching the Today show this morning and those little hostess ladies were giddy about Date Check, which allows you to check up on potential dates to make sure you aren’t about to break bread with a creepy sex offender, ex-con and such. (If he has a tear drop tattoo near his eye, this is a bad sign.) Thing is, you have to PAY for the dang credit check. Like $30. Why would I pay for this when there is Facebook and Google for free? And if that fails, I have a friend who is like freaking Sherlock Holmes when it comes to digging up dirt on people. She gets the scoop. It’s kinda magical.
Of course, Facebook is not going to tell you about someone’s criminal activity, but profiles can indicate a sense of warning or doom. Or tell you that the person that you met online, that you are about to go out with, is friends with the brother of the guy you just broke up with. Uncomfortable. It’s a small world out there folks.
Much to my parent’s chagrin, I don’t worry too much about criminals. I’ve encountered a lot of random men and there has only been one that I decided not to go out with after a cursory telephone conversation during which he asked me if I was a top or a bottom. I was like, “Uh, both? I have to go now.” What does that even mean for straight people?
Bottom line – if you’re freaked out in a hair-standing-up-on-the-back-of-your-neck way, don’t go. Don’t confuse this with anxiety about dating, though. If that means paying for the dang criminal check so you can learn how to distinguish between the two, so be it. Rule of thumb: For new dates, tell someone where you’re going and how long you’ll be out just to be on the safe side. And don’t get drunk and go home with him on the first date. (I know you’re going to, but I just felt like I had to say this.) This is less about safety because most likely, you’re fine, and more about self preservation if you’re looking for a relationship. He won’t buy the cow if he gets the milk for free. It’s a cliche for a reason kids.
Categories: Dating · Sex
Tagged: criminal check, date check, Dating, facebook, google, stalking
Out for 2010: Gavels/In: Hearts
January 2. I’m just getting started on 2010 because I could barely move yesterday, which means it was a great New Year’s Eve. Coupla parties, coupla awesome bands, coupla scaled fences, coupla bruises. Am I too old for 50% of that equation? Well, in 2009 I was. However, in 2010, I’m putting the gavel away. No more judging myself. I’m easing up. That’s my resolution. To give myself a break from all of the self-imposed rules and criticism.
The Powers That Be immediately tested my resolve yesterday by picking on the one [physical] thing I am most self conscious about. I was at my friend’s house having a lovely brunch when his friend called out to me from across the kitchen while I was walking away, “Oooooo girl! You got a booty! I didn’t know you had a booty!” If I consider the source, I think this was kind of a compliment. Buuuttttt….. (no pun intended. Heeee.)
I laughed with more than a hint of mortification, expressed my inability to respond to that comment and continued to walk away.
I won’t go into the particulars of my gluteal hang up. Instead, I will just let it all go. My jeans do enough reminding that my booty exists in the proportions that it does. And some people like booties.
This is not the only area of my existence that I am harsh on myself about. There are many. So, to deal with the negative critiques, my job is to come up with a counter argument for them. And write it all down. Sounds like therapist homework. It is. But I’m into it.
I’ve noticed lately that people aren’t making resolutions anymore. The reason: They can never keep them. I don’t think that’s a good reason not to. I think that just means they are picking things that aren’t attainable. In 2004, my resolution was to ask out the hot bartender I’d been stalking eyeing for 6 mos. By January 15th, I marched right up to the bar at the busiest time of night, introduced myself, handed him my phone number and asked him if he wanted to go out sometime. Gutsiest thing I’ve ever done. We went out on a date. It was terrible. He talked about his ex the entire time and mentioned he’d probably marry her. WHA???? Obvi, it didn’t work out. Though in the strange world of DC smallness, over the years since, he has hotlisted me on at least one online dating site and I actually ran into him this NYE. I think it was the Powers That Be reminding me that I can complete new year’s resolutions. That, or it was a warning: Be careful what you wish for.
In other news of trying new things, I’m taking an acting class today, and I signed up for pole-dancing classes, too. (I’m never going to get up in time for the 7 am Chair Play class. Good lord.) I’m not so sure about the latter. I’m more of a ballet and jazz kinda girl. My friend roped me into it. Apparently, they provide heels in class so you can suriously channel your inner stripper. I just want tough biceps. And a softer spirit. These things take time. I’m into the process.
Categories: Relationships
Tagged: booty, judgement, new year, new year's resolutions, pole dancing, therapy
