First date: He pays.
That’s my thought.
It has recently been brought to my attention, though, that this is archaic and anti-feminist of me. And what about the poor guys’ deflating wallets?
Well. I never said he had to shell out three months salary on the first date. That’s for the engagement ring, right ladies? [insert inside-joke cackling]
I’m kidding. I’m not even a diamond kinda girl. Give me a simple wedding band and a ridiculous honeymoon and call it a day.
But really. I think he should pay on the first date–but it should be something he can afford if money is an issue. A cup of coffee. Happy hour drinks. A walk in the park (free!). Whatever. Just take a sister out. Make her feel special.
I should note, it’s not a deal breaker if a guy doesn’t pay. But it is a red flag. Think of it this way: when you combine going dutch with men who don’t ask for a real date anymore or otherwise let their intentions be known—rather it becomes “when do you want to hang out?”—and there are no traditional social cues like the opening of doors or walking on the street side of the sidewalk, it’s enough to make a woman wonder “so was that a date?” Before we know it, we’re in a relationship with someone who never had any sort of intention of a relationship beyond friends who have sex. But maybe I’m so out if it that’s all relationships are anymore??
I just always thought that when a guy truly likes a girl, he will pay, no questions asked. It’s part of impressing her, of showing her he can take care of her. As my dad said last weekend and every other time this topic comes up at the family dinner table, the man paying is S.O.P. Pops is talking about all the time. I’m just talking first, maybe second date. Then I can pick up the check. Then he can. Then I do. Then … . See where I’m going with this?
I won’t go into the egalitarian issue until the pay scale for men and women is evened out and women aren’t [generally] the ones footing the monthly bill for birth control without even blinking an eye. I dare a woman to ask for 50 cents each time she has sex, which is roughly half the daily rate for the monthly prescription of birth control pills. (I did have one boyfriend that took family planning into account. Of course, this was when he put us on a budget and we each payed the percentage of the bill based on our salaries. I think I got an extra 3 percent off because I paid the BC prescription. This made me feel super special because he really understood the extra moolah I was spending while he was nickel and diming me.)
I’m sure I will catch some flack for this post. I’m open to other opinions and understanding the issues facing men better because this is the one thing that always confounds me. Shit is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S.