And please know how to put them on, too.
Someone had to say it. And she does it so well.
And girls: You too. You bring condoms, too.
It reminds me of the time I brought my first condoms. I was moving to an island for the summer to live in a tent and escape from the world as I knew it. So my mom took me to Target to get supplies so that the search to find myself might be made more comfortable with bug spray, suntan lotion and Gold Bond. (The list from the campground told me I needed it. I had no idea what Gold Bond was for or that it had anything to do with preventing male junk form chaffing until I got there and everyone made fun of me for having it.)
All of a sudden my mom was like, You need condoms. Do you want me to buy you condoms? I know what happens at these summer resort jobs. I want you to have condoms. Of course, I said OK because I thought the whole scenario was uncomfortable and funny and terribly out of character for my mom. And it would be novel to say that my mom bought me condoms once.
That summer, those Trojans saw the light of day three times. Once at the airport security check when my bag was frisked and a person in uniform whipped a row of squares from its hiding place for the men with the big guns standing nearby to see. Then two more times on the island when my friend needed them so she could have the sex. I didn’t use a one. And I’m glad because apparently there was a scorching case of herpes roaming around the communal campground. And even condoms don’t work so good when it comes to that type of STD. Is this a good time to say never look a gift horse in the mouth? Maybe that doesn’t quite work here.
Categories: Dating · Relationships · Sex
Tagged: condoms, escapism, gift horse, Sex, St. John, STD, trojan
…a good one nonetheless. It came in a couple days ago and is referring to the fact that it didn’t work out with one guy I went on some dates with:
Q: SS, Please don’t take this personally, but is it possible you turned him off in some sort?
A: Well, yes. It is quite possible that I turned him off. However, I don’t think I’m doing anything wrong per se. (Though having written a book on dating hasn’t exactly been stellar for the act of dating.) I think I, along with most people in the world, am just being myself. And if that is a turn off, well, I’ll just be hanging out and doing what I like and when I like to do it until someone comes along who thinks all my ridiculous quirks make me the bee’s knees. I mean, I’m not going to change my behavior as some books might have women (and men) do. That just becomes a mishagos of good intentions. Acting outside of yourself to land a date is never advisable. One day it will click like it’s supposed to. I mean, not every date can be “it.”
And then there’s 50% of the equation that is completely and utterly out of my control: the other person. You just never know what’s going on in someone else’s life and why they make the decisions that they do. Often, those decisions have nothing to do with you or me or any third party. I can’t control or change or take responsibility for that. And I shouldn’t. So I go about my merry way, being 5 minutes late to everything, baking pies, flipping a coin between yoga and the gym (the gym is winning out lately because there are so many gym crushes!), scrambling to get through this week’s New Yorker before the next one comes, finishing the blasted book and dreaming of a bigger apartment. The usual.
Categories: Dating · Relationships
Michael and Stephanie on the hottest cool rider date ever.
Most of the dates I’ve been on have consisted of me, a man, a table and two chairs, and probably two too many gimlets. Standard and usually fun. Then there are the dates in which me and the man have broken the mold — shoved our chairs away from the table and did something different. These dates fall into the category of Best Dates. Ever. My top 4, in no particular order:
1. Motorcycle ride through Rock Creek Park. Second or third date. Exhilarating. A little…different…to be straddling a relative stranger from behind, but kind of exciting, and according to a friend, who’d also been on a motorcycle date, everyone should have one.
2. Day picnic at Delaware National Park near Dewey Beach. Second date. I drove. He supplied the picnic. It was awesome.
3. Sneaking up to the rooftop of the Washington Hotel in December. Two or three months into dating. We danced in the moonlight. It was magical.
4. Frisbee. First date! We talked under an old oak to wait out a rainstorm and then tossed the Frisbee around with neighborhood kids. Then we had Belgian beer at a French cafe. Parfait.
Not everyone has a motorcycle, sometimes it’s too cold for Frisbee and the beach, and sadly the Washington Hotel is now a W (with serious security so it’s doubtful you could sneak up to the roof), so sometimes restaurants are the way to go. My picks for DC:
1. Room 11: Doesn’t get more intimate than this.
2. Et Voila: It’s like being in Brussels, except you’re in the Palisades.
3. Firefly: Perfect lighting, perfect drinks.
Bonus ideas for recreational dates: Putt Putt on H Street, hiking the Billy Goat Trail.
And if you’re in NYC dating, Epistrophy is quite lovely in a very rustic Italian way.
Categories: Dating
Tagged: fun dates, washington dc
